Hope everyone is doing well? I kind of forgot about my blog until tonight and just had the urge to get back on it!
My partner said I should try to Vlog instead on my YouTube channel. But I’d much rather write, I find it easier to express myself through writing, And besides I hate the sound of my own voice and the YouTube videos always cringe me out.
Lots has changed again, I’m now engaged and have been for almost a year. I also have moved into a new place October 2015, and it’s actually a house! I spoke to a mortgage advisor but unfortunately on my wage on my own it’s impossible at the moment for me to buy anywhere so still renting. I actually had to go take out a credit card just so I can start building up my credit rating also.
I’m still working at an Opticians, all is going okay there at the moment.
Anyway I’d really love to hear what you guys have been doing?
I’ve been meaning to blog again for a while now, so much has changed since I was last online.
I’ve moved into a new flat and absolutely love it! I’ve also got some help with my depression and I am in the process of sorting out counselling. I keep having lots of ups and downs but they are to be expected and I hope they can be fixed!
This is just a mini blog but hopefully I’ll be back soon with some proper stuff.
So I’ve been in my new place for over a month now and as nice as it is being free of family etc I still find myself going through major low points. I find myself locked away in my box room most of the time just keeping myself to myself and avoiding the dreaded socialising with housemates.
My relationship is also rocky, because of me. No matter how many cringe worthy quotes I read like ‘live every day like it’s your last’ I just can’t pick myself up. I actually quite enjoy being at work as it keeps my mind occupied and I can have a laugh with my colleagues and forget about my problems so to speak.
I’m sure I’m destined for happiness but how the hell do I get there?
I remember when I was a kid and Christmas was all about family and presents, probably the same for most people right? Dad would always wake us up and get the Christmas tunes going on the old cassette player before putting dinner in the oven. It was good until my Mum and Dad separated then it was just up to us to choose where we’d want to be on Christmas day and spend the day with one of the parents. Every year it got worse and worse just like the family situation, My Mum and Dad probably haven’t seen each other for as long as I can remember, Shame they couldn’t put things aside and stop hating each other for the sake of their Children really.
As the years went on I became detached from the so called Family. And now Christmas is not about Family for me, It’s about having some days off work and spending time with my partner, forget the presents and food, just some time off with him. Forgive me for hating the whole ‘Christmas is a time for Family’ thing, but for some of us it really isn’t and I admit I have a bitterness about ‘Family’
Anyway I don’t want to sound like the Grinch! I’m lucky that my Partners family have welcomed me in and I’ve been invited to Christmas Dinner at his auntie and uncles house which I’d be a fool to say no to.
And I guess you could say I’m contradicting myself but the fact is when I’m sat at the dinner table with a proper family I’m always going to feel emotional.
Whatever your situation, spend Christmas with whatever or whoever makes you happy and relax.
I woke up this morning and just wanted to phone in sick at work, motivation is something I struggle with a lot.
Whilst at work last week I was staring out the window watching this old frail man/woman who happened to be a member of staff at the Sainsbury’s supermarket opposite. He/She was collecting baskets and struggling to pile them up by the door at the front of the store, I kept watching throughout the day as this person (who looked as if they were in their late 60’s at least) kept piling the baskets by the door. I felt emotional and upset that for most people that is life. Being in my very early 20’s I dread to think of another say 40-50 years of working as it is a routine I struggle with even at this stage of my working life.
It’s weird how much I was thinking into things as I was watching this person, It kind of gave me a little bit of motivation and made me that bit more determined to go far in life. But then again it made me feel so deflated at the same time.
Trouble is I’m pretty impatient when It comes to what I want and if I want to be rich or successful I don’t want to have to wait for it! But looks like I’m going to have to bide my time and see where life takes me and hope I make the right decisions along the way.